I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which has easily been my biggest excuse. For whatever reason as soon as it was set in stone my body revolted and decided that the pain and fatigue would just increase exponentially. This of course has spiraled down into so many other things. I should be doing my PT at home, going to the gym, eating better, establishing better sleep patterns, applying for one job that will allow me to quit the three and there for have better sleep patterns, etc... But I have hardly done any of those things.
Then I am also contemplating going back to school so I am using that as an excuse not to look for jobs because do I really want to find another job and then start school? Well what exactly do I want to go to school for? Can I afford to go to school with this job? If I move jobs will I have to find a new place to live and then pay to move? Where should I go to school? What is the process? How much are the tests going to cost? Which test do I need to take? Is it all going to be worth it?
And I wonder why I sleep so poorly?? UGH!!
Well I decided to take a little more concrete action. I looked up a bunch of questions to help guide me toward finding a more true passion; a path I could follow. Which in turn led me to think about my core values, what they are, and whether I am living by them or not. And of course, my ADD mind couldn't stop and focus on those long enough to not jump into the ideals that I am looking to share in a person. But I think that was helpful, because it helped to to think more about the type of person I want to be as well.
So here are the main things I am looking for in the person I want to be with followed by my list of core values, with their meaning to me, and finally the unfinished list of questions and answers. I would love any feedback you all might have!
MY HOPEFUL PARTNER
Now I wrote these out many years ago, and came back to them a few months ago, and surprising very little has changed from what I am looking for in someone that I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
Now I wrote these out many years ago, and came back to them a few months ago, and surprising very little has changed from what I am looking for in someone that I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
Family Man – in the sense that family is very important to him and can
get along with my family and can handle children, but does not necessarily need
to want his own
Financially Knowledgeable, Independent and Stable – does not have to
be rich, but should have some concept of saving money and healthy spending
Balanced – has the ability and desire to work hard, set goals and
aspire to go above and beyond those goals in at least a handful of life’s
aspects, but at the same time can turn that all off or put is on the back
burner and just relax, have fun and go with the flow.
Passion and Drive – an undeniable love, passion, draw to something.
Combined with the drive to make something or do something with that passion
Communication – from the smallest to the biggest topics and issues… it
is ok if it not constant or if things need to be addressed at different times,
but should be able to hold and maintain a conversation with me and new people
Social – should not have to worry about bringing him somewhere and not
being able to leave their side to do my own thing. Should be able to venture
out and meet people on their own.
Things I prefer or are a nice added bonus in a partner:
- Physically fit or active
-
Non-smoker- Physically fit or active
- Social drinker
- Likes to dance
- Likes cars and motorcycles
- Love for music (especially live)
- Enjoys adventure and trying new things
- Sports fan (baseball, football, hockey)
- Can give a good massage
- Not overly emotional
- Mechanical or handy
- Likes to cook
- Not obsessive, controlling, or jealous
- Secure in self and relationship
- Trusting and trustworthy
MY CORE VALUES
I found this site today when trying to answer a bunch of questions about myself. http://midlifemaverick.com/how-to-uncover-your-core-values/ I went through most of the steps and the following is what I came up with. Now to spend the next couple weeks discovering how close or not I am living up to these values I uncovered.
· Family
o
Blood and not, close people to count on and who
count on you no matter what o Success to me means making time to stay connected to my family and friends. Opening myself up to allow myself to one day create a family of my own.
· Adventure
o
Trying new things, visiting new places, keeping
things new and maintaining a sense of spontaneity o Success to me is stepping outside my comfort zone at least once a day, no matter how big or small.
· Intelligence
o
Knowledge, desire to learn, common sense,
cunning o Success to me means taking time each day to learn something new, read something, or at least work to enhance current skills. Force myself to use my brain and current knowledge before succumbing to looking it up or asking others.
THE QUESTIONS
Finally, here are the questions I am setting out to answer... I am having difficulty with some of them, which is not surprising to me because I have been asking myself these same questions for a very long time. It is weird to not know what you love or would do for free... but hopefully I will discover something I did not know about myself.
·
What makes you happiest in your
life? What excites you?
o
Friends, family, helping others, when
putting together something that I can see solid results from
·
What do you do that makes you feel
invincible?
·
What do people thank you for?
o
Being helpful, always being there,
putting in my all, being ahead of the game
·
What are you ridiculously good at?
What are your precious gifts?
o
Organizing, keeping things on track
and moving, being surprisingly upbeat
·
Who do you look up to? Who are your
mentors? Who inspires you? Why?
o
My uncle peter – he is very
proactive and always has good advice.
o
My grandmother Janet – she is
finally making time for herself and doing the things she loves
o
Samantha Star – she treats her body
like a temple and is regularly chasing her dreams of being successful at pole,
performing, and just generally making herself better
·
When was the last time you massively
over-delivered on something? What was it and why did you work so damn hard?
o
The grand reopening for the café. It
was my first major act as the Marketing Manager (a new position created
especially for me). I had multiple roles from recreating station ideas, menus,
etc; working with vendors to get them there and to donate product and raffle
prizes; working with student organization and school offices to coordinate people
and activities; help in planning the meal; promotion, etc.
·
When was the last time you were in a
state of flow, in the zone and totally lost track of time? What were you doing?
o
Working on the projector, which I
ultimately ended up making worse. But I took it apart and was looking around
inside trying to figure out what was wrong and next thing I knew it was 3-4
hours later.
·
Imagine you won $15 million in the
lottery. It's now three months later. How will you spend tomorrow?
o
Volunteering my time with multiple
organizations like the Humane Society and boys and girls clubs. Also, learning
as much as I could through reading, going to museums, and taking classes at
different universities and schools. I would also look into becoming a fitness
teacher.
o
Open my own business – music venue/pizza
place. Or my own gymnastics gym.
·
If you could have or do anything,
what would it be?
o
I would love to have some sort of
musical talent, or increase my dance and body movement.
·
What topics do you find yourself
continuously arguing or defending with others? What beliefs does your stance
represent?
·
What makes you most angry about the
state of the world? With unlimited resources how could you fix it?
o
That there is such a large gap
between the rich and even middle class never mind all of the poor, also that so
many rich people are completely blind to the problems of the lower classes and
blame it on them, as if everyone has the choice to get out of poverty – sadly it
is not always the case. I would give more money to schools and change up curriculums
– more information about politics, voting, how to use money wisely, discovering
what you are good at and how to turn that into something useful. I would offer
more help for student loan repayment for those clearly making an effort, and
make it harder for the general population to get themselves into credit card
debt. Find things like legalization of weed that can be profitable for the
country to help lower our debt ceiling and then work to minimize and eliminate
it – work toward being a more self-sustaining country. OH TO DREAM….
·
What are you most afraid of for the
next generation, whether you have kids or not?
o
That children are being handed
everything to them at such an early age, they come to expect is as they get
older. There is much less competition, drive to work hard to exceed, or
recognizing each other’s differences and how to play into those differences to
your benefit.
·
What do you love helping people
with? How do you most commonly help others?
o
I love to help people learn –
greatly miss teaching gymnastics and seeing the kids grow and learn before your
eyes. Generally, I help in any way I can, teaching how to use computers, etc.
·
What’s your favorite section in the
bookstore? What’s the first magazine you’d pick up at the grocery store?
o
Generally, teen and adult fantasy. I
never pick up magazines at the grocery store, must of them are just crap about
celebrities that I do not care about. Sometimes a good fitness one will grab my
attention
·
When was the last time you couldn't
sleep because you were so excited about what you had to work on? What was it?
o
I regularly lose sleep because I am
thinking about one job or another. Losing sleep because of excitement… would
probably have been setting up the grand reopening of the café.
·
If you trusted that your art (your
creativity) would support your life, How would you live?
·
Out of all your current work roles,
what would you gladly do for free?
o
I would teach gymnastics for free –
it’s not current, but none of my current roles do I like enough for that…
·
If you were able to be a member of
the audience at your own funeral (in 100 years or so) what would you want to
hear people say?
o
I hope people say that I made a
positive impact in their life, whether large or small scale. That I helped put
a smile on their face and more importantly in their hearts.
·
What do your friends always tell you
you'd be good at, that you should do for a living (i.e. “he’d make a great...)?
If you don't remember, then go ask five of them.
·
What are you naturally curious
about?
o
I like to think everything. I love
to learn new things. Nature, sports, history, technology, food, etc
·
If you had a free hour to surf the
internet, what would you explore?
o
Fun free things to do in the place I
am and around
·
Think back to when you were 5 or 10
years old. What did you want to be when you grew up? Anything goes. What skills
and metaphors do these represent (i.e. pilot may be a symbol for freedom)?
·
If you could write a book to help
the world, that is guaranteed to be a best seller, what would the title be? What's
it about?
o
Driven – it would be about finding
passion and always working toward it… even if you are simply passionate about
figuring out what your true passion is. Working through the bumps and setbacks,
taking paths less traveled, and never letting those around you hold you back.
The trials and tribulations of the growth process to get where you want to be.
·
What careers do you find yourself
dreaming of? What jobs do others have that you wish were yours?
o
Business event planning
o
Travelers
o
Professional performers (pole)
o
Teachers
o
Student activities directors
·
What 3 - 5 dream jobs or businesses
can you imagine that would firmly embody your core beliefs about the world.
Sky’s the limit. And a bonus...
·
What revolution do you want to lead?
o
Total equality for everyone; race,
sex, orientation,
